Scout Humorists Gifts

'Everything is confidential. We don't need to do scout's honor.'

'At ease, soldier.'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'Because only men can believe than 1 inch equals a mile.'

Bobsled Police.

The Puck Stops Here.

"I guess "heterosexual backwoodsmen" doesn't have the same ring to it."

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

Peacekeeping?

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'At the moment, it's only weakness is flypaper.' - (spyplane research dept.)

Reserve Ants

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

"Oh goodie, pigs in a blanket."

"Your being on the company softball team gives me the opportunity to trade you."

River Source

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

'... Now this releases me from any liability. And this form ...' 'Fred's legal experiences in civilian life interfered with his work in a war zone.'

Goal Post Ape.

Pigeon Master

'This is the spot I was telling you about.'

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.

'He's been this way since the Red Sox won the pennant!'

'I'm tellin' ya, Jimmy, we're sitting ducks out here!'

"Your training begins just as it did with the masters of old... with positive affirmations and five minutes of low-impact cardio."

"General, we're doomed: The enemy's message we intercepted says they will attack in Winter..."

Jogi Loew - His Secret Tactics for 2024. . .

From here vantage point Colonel Katchamka realised she could see the Polish boarder.

"That's Tom, he spends most of his game in the water hazards."