Scottish Traveler Gifts

Young Peel worries about visiting Scotland.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'What clan do you belong to?'

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

Scottish party

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

Off to see the world

'Och lye the news'

Vaccination Passport

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

Welcome Ghost.

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

'Jock's a real gentleman as far as we sheep are concerned... He knows how to play the bagpipes, yet doesn't!'

Mad For It

Latest Aye Phone

Waiting for the snow to arrive in Aviemore.

'The bloke with the violin is on holiday.'

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

Scot holding a heart.

From the No.1 best seller, 'Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Scotland.'

Sun and the Moon step out.

'Anything to declare?'

"Says he's one of the MacMartian Clan."

Robert Burns

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

Scot country dancing,

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'