Scotch Tasting T-Shirts

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Complementary Beverages

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

"Is that neat whisky?"

'Another Scotch?'

The Angel's Share

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

Men drinking

"If the energy drink isn't working, try scotch."

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

You can kiss me later

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

Monarch of the Glenmorangie

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

"There is far too little operating fluid here, the red warning light is already coming on! Quick, get some Scotch!"

'Dang... so much ice around us, but not a lousy drop of Scotch!'

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

Bach Doubles

"I don't know if I've mentioned this before, Greg, but you are a very attractive man."