Scotch Tasting Mugs

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

Complementary Beverages

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

'Another Scotch?'

Hotel mini-bar.

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

"Is that neat whisky?"

The Angel's Share

Men drinking

"If the energy drink isn't working, try scotch."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

You can kiss me later

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

Monarch of the Glenmorangie

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

'Dang... so much ice around us, but not a lousy drop of Scotch!'

"There is far too little operating fluid here, the red warning light is already coming on! Quick, get some Scotch!"

Bach Doubles

'So that's why they use the Dutch flag colours...it's flat!' (Pepsi logo on vending machine)

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'