Whiskey Taster T-Shirts

My favorite tea: Hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Join me in a Martini?

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Wine taster with mineral water

Complementary Beverages

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Which Hogwarts house are you?

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

The Angel's Share

'The statue of David? I thought you said Mogen David.'

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

Hotel mini-bar.

'The bouquet is reminiscent of rubber nose - but then, it always is...'

"I'm getting a lot of burnt notes."