Scotch Drinking T-Shirts

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

Bacchus.

Party Animals.

"Now I really hate poetry."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'No ice.'

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

Join me in a Martini?

We'll have Manhattans...

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'