Scotch Drinking Pillows

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

Bacchus.

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Party Animals.

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

"Now I really hate poetry."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'No ice.'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

'No standing while room is in motion.'