Scotch Aficionado T-Shirts

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

"Come on! You’ve done the whole ‘be one with the universe’ thing … be one with the Scotch."

"If the energy drink isn't working, try scotch."

'No ice.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Trump Poutine

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

Shaken not stirred

You're the botanicals in my gin

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

Prawn Cocktail Please

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"They grow up so fast."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

Easter Island moai as cocktails.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"Hey, who wants to hear a great single-malt story."

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'