Scotch Aficionado T-Shirts

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

"Come on! You’ve done the whole ‘be one with the universe’ thing … be one with the Scotch."

"If the energy drink isn't working, try scotch."

'No ice.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Trump Poutine

You're the botanicals in my gin

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

Shaken not stirred

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

Prawn Cocktail Please

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"They grow up so fast."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

I'm carrying a Tiki Torch for you

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

Waiting for the snow to arrive in Aviemore.

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.