Scoreboard Strategist Gifts

Pessimists v Optimists.

How Bowlers Strike.

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'This is looking less and less like leg cramps and more and more like a career-ending injury.'

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

Sweep the board.

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

The Other Cooperstown

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"I love fast break business success."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'