Scoreboard Scrutinizer Gifts

'If you don't want to know the scores please exercise your distrust of the BBC now.'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

Nuclear Security Summit

Giving feedback is a complex process.

Pessimists v Optimists.

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"I quit."

Golf Score Reducer

'Well done, Evan; you only missed a hole-in-one by 7 strokes.'

Been a while since I've seen such a high scoring game!

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"So, what have you been doing lately?"

Tennis confuses me. How can you be a loser when you endlessly have love?

"I'm loving the new scoreboard!"

Olympic School

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

The System is a Punishment for a Past Life

"I lost count back there after your fifth stroke. How many did it take?"

'Your assets speak for themselves. They say 'no'.'

Say It Ain't So, Ho

Superdome: Now Playing Har Bowl.

Smoking Gun

How Bowlers Strike.

'Birdies...eagles...albatrosses...' - 'Pigeon toes.'

'This is looking less and less like leg cramps and more and more like a career-ending injury.'

"Wait! That's not a decimal point! It's a dead fly!"

'Could you give me details of where I can find the nearest Post Office.'

Francois Hollande and his women

Attack Dog: Weiner Jokes.

'I play in the low seventies.' ~ 'The course is on 73rd Street.'