Scoreboard Scrutinizer Pillows

'If you don't want to know the scores please exercise your distrust of the BBC now.'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

Nuclear Security Summit

Giving feedback is a complex process.

Pessimists v Optimists.

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"I quit."

Golf Score Reducer

Been a while since I've seen such a high scoring game!

'Well done, Evan; you only missed a hole-in-one by 7 strokes.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"So, what have you been doing lately?"

"I'm loving the new scoreboard!"

"I lost count back there after your fifth stroke. How many did it take?"

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

Olympic School

'Your assets speak for themselves. They say 'no'.'

Smoking Gun

Superdome: Now Playing Har Bowl.

'Could you give me details of where I can find the nearest Post Office.'

'This is looking less and less like leg cramps and more and more like a career-ending injury.'

"Wait! That's not a decimal point! It's a dead fly!"

'Birdies...eagles...albatrosses...' - 'Pigeon toes.'

Francois Hollande and his women

Attack Dog: Weiner Jokes.

'I play in the low seventies.' ~ 'The course is on 73rd Street.'

Judges using half scorecards for a gymnast who crashed through the floor.