Credit Score Scrutinizer Pillows

'Your assets speak for themselves. They say 'no'.'

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

Nuclear Security Summit

Recession

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

'As your banker, I feel I should tell you, the more enlightened you become the more of a credit risk you become.'

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

Been a while since I've seen such a high scoring game!

"You'll always have AAA status to me!"

"He leaves behind a loving wife, two beautiful children and a credit score of 780."

'Are you kidding, you credit's better than ours.'

'Just a minute while I pull up your file.'

'Good news! Some guy stole my identity online. Now he's saddled with my bad credit rating.'

"We've been pre-disapproved for another loan."

'A bank manager will always lend you money if you can prove you don't need it!'

"So, we've processed your loan application and I'm afraid that it doesn't look too promising!"

'We found the trouble Mr. Spencer. Your credit is no good!'

Mort, you owe $856 on your tab. What are you talking about?! I pay my tab every month! Yes, but you've never paid the finance charge. It was clearly written on the back of the tab receipt that there's a 29.9% finance charge. I don't have that kind of money! I refuse to pay it! You can pay your finance charge in installments, but I'll have to add a finance charge. I'm calling congress!

'Every time I get paid my creditors form a flash mob.'

The System is a Punishment for a Past Life

'Oh yeah?! Well, my dad's credit score is better than your dad's!'

"He's extremely intelligent. Right now he's fetching your credit score."

Smoking Gun

'You have just been put on hold indefintely until you get a decent paying job.'

"You have a rare situation known as 'excellent credit' and I don't know how to deal with it."

Say It Ain't So, Ho

'Aren't you afraid of inaccuracies on your credit report?'

'Your credit rating is a bit low but we can still offer you a loan. Do you have a problem with being fitted for an electronic ankle bracelet?'

'I'm afraid we can't use your other outstanding loans as collateral.'