Scone Lovers Gifts

The House of Java Cafe was suddenly a house divided. The humble establishment had been divided into faith-based and non-faith-based seating. Heathen! Blasphemer! Cereal-eater! Judgmental scone-lover! You have no values. You have even less! And some walking a not-so-delicate line down the middle. You're all stinkin' losers!

Lesbian civil partnership.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

Can I give you a slice of the action?

Secretive Weigh In.

'I always cry at weddings!'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"The rolling wheels...the ringing bells...signal the deliciousness of summer."

Thou Shalt Not!

Chocolate Shop

Happy Birthday to you.

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

Time for Tea!

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'It's all homemade.'

Cake Escape

May all your birthday wishes come true..

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Dog Walker

Caricature: Nigella Lawson

Shaved Ice

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Patissier

"I think we need to have a chat about your 'support team'..."

Well, I don't know who sent it and quite frankly, Marilyn, I don't care. I only know that we're about to taste sweet freedom, baby.

Chubby man is disappointed that the stripper's cake is not a real cake.

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt