Scoffer At Travel Woes Gifts

'Brilliant, these 'no smiling' passports make identification so much easier.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Injured backpacker.

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

Pig's Human Bank

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

"This is the most transparent administration in history..."

Goal!

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

"Found it when I was digging the garden...."

Uh oh. What if someone on the flight wears their unlucky underwear?!

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

Excess Baggage: Anyone who thinks business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

"Hey! Let's give them a thrill and pretend we're getting brunch!"

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

'Another one of your screw-ups! You were supposed to get us a rental car!'

"The Motor Vehicle Department had some concerns for my safety."

"I hate travel."

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! My family reunion is in Bermuda this year. But I hate flying. Ever since they started poking and prodding and x-raying and de-shoe-ung us, I swore I'd only go places to which I could drive. Are you using post-9/11 security enhancements as an excuse to avoid spending time with your annoying relatives? Because if so, I salute you. I will not be fondled by the TSA just to watch Aunt Bertha do the Electric Slide.

'Doing a degree? No, I'm trying to book a train ticket.'

'Hey mister, you can't smoke in here.'

"There is a cat in this basket and I want to take out baggage insurance that will insure that it gets forwarded to some godforsaken place in the middle of nowhere!"

"We have been betrayed by the earthlings!"

"Finally! I'm saved!"

I suffered a freak accident several years ago where I lost all of my fingers except my middle one, so I'm not really giving you the finger, I'm just trying to thumb a ride.

A corruption risk dial ranks the danger today.

The Grim Reaper is standing at the airport baggage claim waiting to pick up his scythe case from the luggage conveyor.

'Guess which is our cabin.'

"Well, we won't book with travel agent again"