Soccer Scoffer Gifts

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

Football Fans

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Football

Funky Facts: Football.

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Ball as water-melon.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'