Scissor-wielding Wizard T-Shirts

"Just take a little off the top!"

"Home depot."

"Be creative...!"

"My preferred pronoun is they."

Newt sale

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Texturing the Walls

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

'There! Now you won't get tangles!'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Book publishing.

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

Great Poets of Catalogdom

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"