Scissor Aficionado T-Shirts

Dueling marionettes.

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Be creative...!"

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

Georgian head-dress

'Whoa,Man!...(Phew!)...Boy,that was a close shave!'

Screw plastic surgeon.

Book

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

Pencil sharpeners in hell

Pollsters

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'Here it is, Your cellphone.'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

Women bring a different perspective to watching football.

Today's Rapunzel

Battle.

'Pencil for Cartoonists.'

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.