Scissor-wielding Wizard Gifts

"Just take a little off the top!"

"Home depot."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"My preferred pronoun is they."

Newt sale

"Be creative...!"

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Texturing the Walls

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

'There! Now you won't get tangles!'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Book publishing.

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

Great Poets of Catalogdom

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"