Scientific Progress Fan Gifts

"We just made a big cancer breakthrough. Have a cigar."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"Is it that bad?"

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

Time Machine Collision

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Papi, will you play build-a-model-rocket-so-we-can-calculate-acceleration-rates-and-thrust-levels-for-maximum-payload with me? Please?!"

Science Fair Judgements

Sir Isaac Newton wondered how he couldexplain this! (Pineapple)

Free Radicals.

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

Entropy.

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

"Uniformly accelerated motion"

Newton Discovers Gravity

'So much for Newton. Now, as for Einstein...'

Science And Society 1923

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

Friends often dropped by and subjected Sir Isaac to a little good-natured ridicule.

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

"You're under arrest for breaking the law of gravity! You have the right to..."

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

Did you hear? Marco Polo went to China in search of herbs and spices. Wow! The first instance of thyme travel!

"'Why is the speed of light considered a universal constant?'"

Sir Earnest Rutherford splits the opium.

"It appears you have a virus."

Control and Out of Control Group

'Well sure, if you want to get technical about it.'

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

'You know how it goes: Opposites attract...'

Jules Henri Poincare

Updated History: Sir Isaac Newton. A body at rest tends to remain at rest ... unless an apple falls on its head. Of course, this is just a first draft.