Lab Experiment Fan Gifts

'Are you sure his hat was like that when we started?'

Mice-Maze Lab. Hey, no using Mapquest!

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

"The invention of taxidermy."

Bottle Distillery

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

Rats in a laboratory labelled: 'Test, Control, Pet.'

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

Control and Out of Control Group

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"We just made a big cancer breakthrough. Have a cigar."

Wine: New and Old.

'And this reaction releases a sufficient amount of energy to extract a teenager from his bed!'

"Drinking? Who's drinking? I'm antioxidizing."

'We tried crossing a turkey with an octopus to get eight drumsticks, but it didn't quite work out!

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

"Oh, nothing much. Just experimenting with some rabbits."

Implications of the quantum wavefunction 12: 'You can never be complete safe.' Until it actually hits something a fired projectile could materialize anywhere.

"Why yes, I am a professional grape stomper...why do you ask?"

"The statistician is coming over to explain why this is perfectly normal."

'. . . And I'm taking the lab rats with me!'

Sleep Disorder Research.

After the Feds closed down Pavlov's lab, Rex was luck enough to land a nice civil services position.

"You know, ever since I've started working here, I've had this craving for cheese."

Where hard cider comes from.

They put their hands under me so I'll blow hot air. They put their hands under me so I'll run water. You don't want to know what they put in front of me so I'll flush.

'No, you can't take a mulligan on your test.'

"I wasn't sure if the wine was breathing, so I've been giving it mouth to mouth."