Lab Experiment Fan Gifts

'Are you sure his hat was like that when we started?'

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

"The invention of taxidermy."

Bottle Distillery

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

Rats in a laboratory labelled: 'Test, Control, Pet.'

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

Control and Out of Control Group

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"We just made a big cancer breakthrough. Have a cigar."

Wine: New and Old.

'And this reaction releases a sufficient amount of energy to extract a teenager from his bed!'

'We tried crossing a turkey with an octopus to get eight drumsticks, but it didn't quite work out!

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

'. . . And I'm taking the lab rats with me!'

"The statistician is coming over to explain why this is perfectly normal."

Implications of the quantum wavefunction 12: 'You can never be complete safe.' Until it actually hits something a fired projectile could materialize anywhere.

"Oh, nothing much. Just experimenting with some rabbits."

"Why yes, I am a professional grape stomper...why do you ask?"

Sleep Disorder Research.

'No, you can't take a mulligan on your test.'

"You know, ever since I've started working here, I've had this craving for cheese."

'No doubt about it. As long as they don't understand the concept of medicine, the placebo won't work.

After the Feds closed down Pavlov's lab, Rex was luck enough to land a nice civil services position.

"Ralph has his own little microbrewery."

'No, seriously. I'm in medicine. Cutting edge stuff. I work in a lab downtown.'