Science Fiction Humorist Pillows

"How far does this bus go?"

'Mayday! Mayday! I'm in the drink!'

Close encounters of the turd kind...

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

The Food Chain

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Take me to your Larder!"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Clown God

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

She loves to play with string theory.

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

How Glaciations Begin

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."