Sci-fi Humorist Pillows

'And to think that only yesterday I was a lonely scientist and you were a failed experiment!'

"Take us to your leader. We'd like to interview him for our podcast."

Landfill on the Moon.

Technology has changed a lot of things, including how kids run away from home.

'Zylo, you know there's a leash law on this planet!'

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

One thing he had learned since his abduction was that human intelligence was not so highly regarded everywhere.

"You know very well you're not supposed to beg at the table."

'You thought they were free, didn't you, Jimmy? Well, we've got news for you - nothing in this universe is really free, Jimmy, nothing. We want payment for the steak knives.'

'Oh no! A Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme lord!'

'What a relief. We were afraid your form of life would be vastly different from ours.'

'He says we're too far north for Moon Pies.'

Hello UFO-monitoring ? I wish to report an Anglosphere over Filmore and Van Ness.

Hedge of two moo cows

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Oh yeah? Well back home on planet Tharg, I'm considered to be something of a ladies man!"

'Please, just wipe my mind not my posh accent!'

'Gimme an anxyldroxyloz straight up with a twist!'

'Hi! -- We're here to volunteer for the Hillary campaign!'

'Can you believe it? - This hayseed doesn't even know which GALAXY we're in!'

Corn Aliens

"...and if you see anything that 'Isn't Right' on the platform please contact the station staff..."

"Genius!"

"All hail Lord Zog, Ruler of the Galaxy!"

"Cancel the invasion...It's like the earthling sucks all the power out of the spaceship!"

"It's alien life of low intelligence because message was a robocall."

Obi Wan Kenobi uses the Force at the doctor's office.

"Nothing to report, Houston. . . all quiet here!"

"Just wait till you walk in the front door—you'll find out if I have a death ray or not."

'This is your third UFO abduction this month!'

"I'm pretty sure I've already seen a rock like that in some museum back on Earth."

"Ask it what happened to our first crew."

"Methane's a bit heavy, today."

"But Nonno made them specially for you, princess."

If aliens' first contact is with a dad...