Sci-fi Cynic Gifts

'I like to keep up-to-date with the movies I'll be hating next year.'

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"Send for a Prftgxrgplwtkn interpreter - case adjourned for a thousand light years."

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

Obama builds own gallows.

"Diogenes, this is Washington, D.C. It's probably the worst place to look for an honest man."

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

"Would you say your politics are middle of the road?"

HP Sauce/HP Lovecraft

'Oh I've always been a sceptic, through all my past lives.'

"The map says to take a right at that planetary dumpster fire."

'Ever since we switched from bio-diesel to human beings, the air smells cleaner, the Earth much greener, and the mileage has been unbelievable!'

Post future today

"Oh no, is this the 'Zoo on Another Planet' dream again?"

"I'd better read the official view before I form an opinion."

Shrinking beggar.

"Son, remember - its possible most politicians lie - it's the American way."

Mail & Political lies.

"Call me a cockeyed optimist, but I think we can fool all the people all the time!"

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

'If voting in elections really changed anything the politicians wouldn't allow it!'