School Year Challenges Gifts

'I've just failed an important essay. Maybe it was a mistake to text it to my english teacher.'

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

The best PE teacher in the World.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I've outgrown my backpack."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"There are days when I wish we'd never agreed to him changing his spots"

Did you let the global warming skeptics into eco club? Yeah. It went fine. We agreed to work on today's environmental problems. We don't have to wait 50 years to clean up toxic waste dumps! Amen.

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

'An actual History lesson is set for June...'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

Back To School

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

Snacks for Learners

Only two months since school started. How long do you get off for summer break, Rudy? Oh, months and months. Just to kick back, sleep in late, have a great time with zero responsibility. Waaaa. Introduction to sarcasm. And I get tons of recess.

This year I'm a different person. I'm starting school as the new, cooler me. Way to go, Twig! Diner. Everyone will notice the change. It feels kind of risky. I've never worn my hair down!