School Yard Philosopher Gifts

'Who won the fight'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"I'm bored."

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Recess does things to a man."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

Will eat your homework for $.

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

The Boys of Indian Summer

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

It MUST be Valentines Day!

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'