School Yard Philosopher Gifts

'Who won the fight'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"I'm bored."

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Recess does things to a man."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

The Boys of Indian Summer

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

It MUST be Valentines Day!

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"What they lose on the swings we gain on the roundabouts."