School Troubles Gifts

"I didn't make the Dean's list, but I made the Principal's list."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"I'd rather eat your homework."

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'Can you debunk my essay?'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"Don't pull any wisdom teeth. I need all the help I can get in school."

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

Be sure to tell us if the school tries cyberspying again. Ok, mom. It's wrong to snap webcam pics of students. Uh-huh. They shouldn't use computers that way! Besides, it's a waste of time. They could just check the kid's facebook page, What were they thinking?

Gotta babysit. Too bad! Tap tap. The worst part is the first! Subduing little monsters? Tap tap. No

'I wish I could fast forward today...'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

'Don't know what else to do. The medication obviously isn't working.'

'Humans can't change into bloodthirsty monsters? Forget it! You should have seen my dad when I showed him the last class test!'

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

"Mr. Murillo couldn't understand how I could make so many mistakes. So I told him that you helped me write it."

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

'How did you do on the plane geometry exam?' - 'I'm back to square one.'

"I couldn't make heads or tails of your test questions so I flipped a coin!"

"Cancel Culture."

Never declare a food fight on artichoke day!

'My mother signed my report card. It got smudged by her tears.'

"I kept dropping my phone and cracking the screen. So, my parents bought me a thicker cover."

"The A B C's are a mystery to him, but he's very solid on the letter F."

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

"She dumped me the minute I flunked out of medical school."

"I'm searching my family history in hopes of finding some generational trauma or institutionalized oppression that would explain whole I'm failing all my courses."

Kid on the way to pricipal's office see a girl in the hall with a stand setup to give legal advice.

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

'Watch out for her. She lets you do all the talking.'

'You're failing chemistry!' 'But...you're taking away my dream of becoming a professional athlete!'

'I sense that you're experiencing a bit stress. They say that shopping is therapeutic. How about joining my Mom and I this weekend!'