School Struggles Gifts

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

"Mr. Murillo couldn't understand how I could make so many mistakes. So I told him that you helped me write it."

'Can you debunk my essay?'

'Mum, they're making fun of me at school because I have a small nose...'

'How did you do on the plane geometry exam?' - 'I'm back to square one.'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"I'd rather eat your homework."

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"Don't pull any wisdom teeth. I need all the help I can get in school."

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

'I keep failing my spelling tests. I think my brain needs more RAM.'

Gone for Broke College

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"

'I've been learning a lot, but I do terribly on tests.'

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

Be sure to tell us if the school tries cyberspying again. Ok, mom. It's wrong to snap webcam pics of students. Uh-huh. They shouldn't use computers that way! Besides, it's a waste of time. They could just check the kid's facebook page, What were they thinking?

'I wish I could fast forward today...'

Back to school anchor

'Don't know what else to do. The medication obviously isn't working.'

"I couldn't make heads or tails of your test questions so I flipped a coin!"

"Cancel Culture."

'My mother signed my report card. It got smudged by her tears.'

Undergraduate talking to college porter