Dealing With School Issues Gifts

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bermudez. Baldo was playing 'Rock-Paper-Scissors'...it was wrongly interpreted as gang hand signals. At this school, all forms of hostile hand signals have been banned."

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'Can you debunk my essay?'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"

'I keep failing my spelling tests. I think my brain needs more RAM.'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

'Don't know what else to do. The medication obviously isn't working.'

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

Giving thanks.

"Mr. Murillo couldn't understand how I could make so many mistakes. So I told him that you helped me write it."

'How did you do on the plane geometry exam?' - 'I'm back to square one.'

'Humans can't change into bloodthirsty monsters? Forget it! You should have seen my dad when I showed him the last class test!'

"Can Hilary come out to abstain from having sex?"

"I couldn't make heads or tails of your test questions so I flipped a coin!"

"Cancel Culture."

4 Failure Types: Mr. Underprepared, Ms. Overprepared, Ms. Insecure, Mr. Overconfident

'I made this Valentine's card for you in school, mom. What the world needs is more love, and less homework.'

Memory School.

'My mother signed my report card. It got smudged by her tears.'

"That cross is not divine. It's a symbol of how out of control things can get when a teenager lies about how she got pregnant."

"The A B C's are a mystery to him, but he's very solid on the letter F."

'Hey, Max... Want me to show you how to make water balloons?'

'Your first day of student teaching?'

Zit: Pus based life-form whose main habitat is the teenage face. Normally peaceable, but he can react violently if threatened.

"The worse part is, I paid the doctor in advance."

Kid on the way to pricipal's office see a girl in the hall with a stand setup to give legal advice.

The Teenage Mantra: You don't understand...

We realise you do better on your I.Q. tests than you do in anything else, but you just cannot major in I.Q.