Dealing With School Issues Pillows

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bermudez. Baldo was playing 'Rock-Paper-Scissors'...it was wrongly interpreted as gang hand signals. At this school, all forms of hostile hand signals have been banned."

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'Can you debunk my essay?'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

'I keep failing my spelling tests. I think my brain needs more RAM.'

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

Be sure to tell us if the school tries cyberspying again. Ok, mom. It's wrong to snap webcam pics of students. Uh-huh. They shouldn't use computers that way! Besides, it's a waste of time. They could just check the kid's facebook page, What were they thinking?

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

'Don't know what else to do. The medication obviously isn't working.'

Giving thanks.

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

"I couldn't make heads or tails of your test questions so I flipped a coin!"

"Mr. Murillo couldn't understand how I could make so many mistakes. So I told him that you helped me write it."

"Cancel Culture."

'Humans can't change into bloodthirsty monsters? Forget it! You should have seen my dad when I showed him the last class test!'

4 Failure Types: Mr. Underprepared, Ms. Overprepared, Ms. Insecure, Mr. Overconfident

"Can Hilary come out to abstain from having sex?"

'How did you do on the plane geometry exam?' - 'I'm back to square one.'

'I made this Valentine's card for you in school, mom. What the world needs is more love, and less homework.'

Memory School.

'My mother signed my report card. It got smudged by her tears.'

'Hey, Max... Want me to show you how to make water balloons?'

Zit: Pus based life-form whose main habitat is the teenage face. Normally peaceable, but he can react violently if threatened.

"That cross is not divine. It's a symbol of how out of control things can get when a teenager lies about how she got pregnant."

"The worse part is, I paid the doctor in advance."

'Your first day of student teaching?'

"The A B C's are a mystery to him, but he's very solid on the letter F."

Kid on the way to pricipal's office see a girl in the hall with a stand setup to give legal advice.

The Teenage Mantra: You don't understand...