School Trouble Pillows

"What I did wasn't actually all that wrong, but the optics were bad."

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"I'd rather eat your homework."

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

Serious Putty

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'Can you debunk my essay?'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

'Between the school assignments, sports classes, and dance lessons, I hardly have any time to spend with my dolls.'

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

"Don't pull any wisdom teeth. I need all the help I can get in school."

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

Study more to pass more tests.

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

"This is an improvement. You helped him study for his last test."

'I keep failing my spelling tests. I think my brain needs more RAM.'

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

"I am studying the alphabet. I'm watching ABC."

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

"If you need help with your homework ask your father...and he'll ask me."

"Who gives you homework?"

'I wish I could fast forward today...'

Be sure to tell us if the school tries cyberspying again. Ok, mom. It's wrong to snap webcam pics of students. Uh-huh. They shouldn't use computers that way! Besides, it's a waste of time. They could just check the kid's facebook page, What were they thinking?