School Reformer Gifts

'I'm home early. Due to budget cuts, the school district is laying off students.'

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

Obesity In Schools

'See, this is proof that your criticism of our educational system is right on!'

'Hello, NSPCA?. . .Listen our school only does chips once a week.'

'The halcyon days of an apple for the teacher are a distant memory.'

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

"We've replaced the vending machine with a fruit machine."

'I think I see why the numbers just aren't adding up.'

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

2010 Teacher Layoffs.

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'What's play?'

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

Budget

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'Lessons have been learned.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

New dunce caps

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

'He has a learning disability all right - television!'

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

'Today in school we learned how to blame everything on the United States!'