School Reform Enthusiast Gifts

School Choice Leaves Equality Behind

'I can't teach kids nothing if they ain't got no aptitude.'

'The board couldn't come up with a 'Plan-A'.'

'Blimey - they're not bringing back corporal punishment?'

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

"What I do is create elegant solutions for problems that don't exist."

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

'See, this is proof that your criticism of our educational system is right on!'

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'You will be appointed principal of a school and you will resist change for your entire career,'

'I'm more unpopular now than I was at school.'

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

The Internal Economy of Dotheboys Hall

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

"We should have more physics in the biology and chemistry curricula."

'The halcyon days of an apple for the teacher are a distant memory.'

'If she switches to essay tests none of us will ever be the same.'

"No, you cannot impeach your teacher!"

'We do not permit bullying or name calling in our school. We will reprimand any student that calls your child a dummy.'

"Now that we have ESSA, does that mean we can start leaving children behind again?"

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

'No darling, it's not a programme about choice of schools.'

'But in the business world, failure is rewarded with big bailouts.'

42 Day Detention Vote - 'OK! That's unanimous then - it'll become official school policy.'

'What's the point of all this school business when we can just look up things on the internet?'