Education Reform Enthusiasts Gifts

The Call to Arms

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

Corporate person hood!

Spell-Check Bee

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"Okay, I guess....first we had a lockdown drill, then we had an active shooter drill. Following that we had a fire drill. After that we got to meet out security guards. Then we watched a video on avoiding sexual predators...."

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

"What I do is create elegant solutions for problems that don't exist."

"Implications of Reaganism."

'Yes, we have 'All You Need To Know About The Health Care Legislation' but it is part of a twelve volume set.'

'You will be appointed principal of a school and you will resist change for your entire career,'

'I'm more unpopular now than I was at school.'

The Internal Economy of Dotheboys Hall

'If she switches to essay tests none of us will ever be the same.'

iDeasy

"Due to the expenses involved with making our schools more resistant to mass shootings, we re forced to make large cuts in teacher pay and benefits...and you will be required to carry this glock 9mm...."

"No, you cannot impeach your teacher!"

"We should have more physics in the biology and chemistry curricula."

A batch of bills are abandoned near the end of the parliamentry session

"Now that we have ESSA, does that mean we can start leaving children behind again?"

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

Civilian Oversight

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

'No darling, it's not a programme about choice of schools.'

"It's a textbook case- depending on which state your textbooks are from."

'What's the point of all this school business when we can just look up things on the internet?'

'Sorry, kid...that's it.'

42 Day Detention Vote - 'OK! That's unanimous then - it'll become official school policy.'

'But in the business world, failure is rewarded with big bailouts.'