School Rule Reformer Gifts

The faculties new biker gang dress code dramatically reduced discipline problems at Welsner Junior High.

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'What's play?'

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Budget

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'Lessons have been learned.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

New dunce caps

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Intellectual bigotry...Go ahead, blaspheme my holy scriptures, the media loves it...'

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

'Today in school we learned how to blame everything on the United States!'

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

Bernie for Labor!

NO CRT

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."