School Reform Advocates Gifts

Education! Education! Education!

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

Spell-Check Bee

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

"Okay, I guess....first we had a lockdown drill, then we had an active shooter drill. Following that we had a fire drill. After that we got to meet out security guards. Then we watched a video on avoiding sexual predators...."

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

"What I do is create elegant solutions for problems that don't exist."

'See, this is proof that your criticism of our educational system is right on!'

'You will be appointed principal of a school and you will resist change for your entire career,'

'I'm more unpopular now than I was at school.'

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

The Internal Economy of Dotheboys Hall

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

"Due to the expenses involved with making our schools more resistant to mass shootings, we re forced to make large cuts in teacher pay and benefits...and you will be required to carry this glock 9mm...."

"No, you cannot impeach your teacher!"

The paper ranks local teachers. Teddy's math teacher is barely competent. Let's transfer him! Why? It's good training for the real world

"We should have more physics in the biology and chemistry curricula."

Civilian Oversight

'The halcyon days of an apple for the teacher are a distant memory.'

'No darling, it's not a programme about choice of schools.'

'What's the point of all this school business when we can just look up things on the internet?'

"It's a textbook case- depending on which state your textbooks are from."

'But in the business world, failure is rewarded with big bailouts.'

42 Day Detention Vote - 'OK! That's unanimous then - it'll become official school policy.'

2010 Teacher Layoffs.