School Project Ponderer Gifts

"Now I'll read a selection from the book I have chosen. Sift a quarter cup of flour into a bowl. . ."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

"I like office work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours!"

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

Doo inc..can and no can.

Document Filing in the Post-Literate Era.

"Take a few minutes to introduce yourself, Ms. Berry. Not that they don't already have you pegged."

'Revolution? I thought you creatures said you wanted Evolution!'

"An equation for your thoughts?"

"Me and my family are Equatorists. We worship an imaginary lion that runs around the earth forever."

'Does he mean before or after the needs survey?'

"Congratulations you've escaped. Now what?"

"Crap in" and "crap out"

'It's an EIEIO!'

Pentagon Science Contest: 'Hey, Jeffrey...why do you think the military wants to figure out how they can send people to another solar system?'

Well at least we can handle these rocks.

A cool proposal

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

In, out, and back in again trays

'You mene I've bin spending this whol term with a defektiv reeding machin?'

'Well, so much for that round-earth theory of yours, smart guy.'

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

Replaced by a Robot...