School Parent Pillows

'Don't patronize me. We both know I could do better. Why do you always have to be so hypocritical?'

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

'How did our summer vacation turn intoa summer job??'

'When I want to watch a realistic comedy about a working mom, I'll look in the mirror.'

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

"Lemme guess: You forgot the basil Mom asked for, and my ice cream is in your briefcase?"

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'It wasn't my fault. They asked me about things that happened before I was born.'

"Tough time getting out of the house this morning?"

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

'Alert the troops I'm going back to work.'

"If she's going to be off school for a while, we need to make sure she's not stuck in the house all day."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"Daddy, I'm all grown up now, and I'm leaving to start a life of my own."

"Jimmy Jones' parents allow him to be home schooled by Google."

'You have to stay after school because you got caught in the hall without a pass? But you're homeschooled!'

Mom and child visit principal who has a sign on the door - Nap Time.