Parent With School-aged Children Pillows

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

Early Night Club

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

Childhood's End

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

"The bully at school keeps calling me a snowflake."

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

Mom and child visit principal who has a sign on the door - Nap Time.

"Today in school we studied the great works of antiquity - the pyramids, the coliseum, the abandoned shopping mall on Route 6."

"No kidding? And it took me 20 minutes to climb up here!"

'I went to school with Mary today: Boy that was fun!!' (colour)

'I need a helping hand.'

'The dog kinda ate my homework. He deleted it off my hard drive.'

"Tell me truthfully, mummy, was I adopted?"

'Look,Mum, that poor man's got toothache too!'

Santa-Claus-Trophobia

'I may lose the connection intermittently.'

Hug Robot going silent

"Ooooh, Mommy...do these things come with instructions?"

'Check out his litterbox. It must be the deluxe model.'

'Babies can't open these safety caps ... But then neither can I!'

'He's doing so much better, lugging that backpack to school, since we started him on steroids.'

Parents dropping kid off at obedience school, instead of dog.

'Don't patronize me. We both know I could do better. Why do you always have to be so hypocritical?'

"Elbows off the table!"

Fireman attempts to rescue trapped children from pub foot rail

'Goodnight honey! Sleep tight!'