Parents With Kids Pillows

Convenience, security and a whole lot of fun. Power windows for the home.

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

Early Night Club

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

Sweets

Childhood's End

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

A dog is for life, not just for Covid.

Mom and child visit principal who has a sign on the door - Nap Time.

Doggy $100 and don't ask again.

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

"I don't allow pets on the furniture, but I do allow them on the guests."

'He happened to swallow Junior's helium balloon!'

"No kidding? And it took me 20 minutes to climb up here!"

'We are looking for a bigger place to accommodate our extended family.'

"He was in my price range, 'Free to a good home'."

'I went to school with Mary today: Boy that was fun!!' (colour)

'I need a helping hand.'

They actually like captivity so much that they even want their children to have their own little cage.

'I can remember when he was quite happy just chasing a stick.'

'I may lose the connection intermittently.'

"Tell me truthfully, mummy, was I adopted?"

Santa-Claus-Trophobia

Changes at Home

"Ooooh, Mommy...do these things come with instructions?"

'Look,Mum, that poor man's got toothache too!'