Families With Children Pillows

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

Grounded

'Someday, Mr. Nicky Copernicus, SOMEDAY you'll learn that the world doesn't revolve around YOU!'

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

'Mom! -- Spot's skinny-dipping again!'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

Play the Trick or Treat Game!

A little boy is crawling through a sandbox towards his mother as though he were dying of thirst in a desert.

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

Dominant hand reveal party

Turn Down For What.

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals

Elephant rides.

"Please, Daddy, just one more conspiracy theory."

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

Some Photography Tips For Your Vacation

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'Mom, we should get some new books, you're starting to repeat yourself.'

'It just says strange things happened after she ate the wafers. It doesn't mention their street value.'

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

'Relax, he is just playing fetch the stick with the kids.'

Sunset

One of a kind.

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

'I assumed he'd know to eat the cone last.'

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

"We couldn't find a sitter."