Families With Children Pillows

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

Parents Strike

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

Grounded

'Someday, Mr. Nicky Copernicus, SOMEDAY you'll learn that the world doesn't revolve around YOU!'

'Mom! -- Spot's skinny-dipping again!'

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

Play the Trick or Treat Game!

I think we need to get him outside more often. iPad … iPad …

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

Turn Down For What.

A little boy is crawling through a sandbox towards his mother as though he were dying of thirst in a desert.

Dominant hand reveal party

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals

Elephant rides.

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

"Please, Daddy, just one more conspiracy theory."

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

Some Photography Tips For Your Vacation

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

One of a kind.

'It just says strange things happened after she ate the wafers. It doesn't mention their street value.'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

'Mom, we should get some new books, you're starting to repeat yourself.'

Sunset

'Relax, he is just playing fetch the stick with the kids.'

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

'I assumed he'd know to eat the cone last.'