Parent With Kids Pillows

No caption. (Adult and male child are standing side by side. The adult has an angel and devil on each shoulder, and the child has a devil and a Santa.)

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

Childhood's End

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

Sweets

A dog is for life, not just for Covid.

Doggy $100 and don't ask again.

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

"I don't allow pets on the furniture, but I do allow them on the guests."

'He happened to swallow Junior's helium balloon!'

Bad news - The children would like the inflatable moat blown up

'I went to school with Mary today: Boy that was fun!!' (colour)

'We are looking for a bigger place to accommodate our extended family.'

Dog with a dummy.

"He was in my price range, 'Free to a good home'."

"No kidding? And it took me 20 minutes to climb up here!"

'I need a helping hand.'

'I can remember when he was quite happy just chasing a stick.'

They actually like captivity so much that they even want their children to have their own little cage.

Changes at Home

'I may lose the connection intermittently.'

"Ooooh, Mommy...do these things come with instructions?"

Santa-Claus-Trophobia

'Look,Mum, that poor man's got toothache too!'