Parent Of A School-aged Child Pillows

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Early Night Club

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

'It wasn't my fault. They asked me about things that happened before I was born.'

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

Mom and child visit principal who has a sign on the door - Nap Time.

"The bully at school keeps calling me a snowflake."

"Today in school we studied the great works of antiquity - the pyramids, the coliseum, the abandoned shopping mall on Route 6."

'I went to school with Mary today: Boy that was fun!!' (colour)

'I need a helping hand.'

'The dog kinda ate my homework. He deleted it off my hard drive.'

'I ate some modeling clay in school today. It's okay, they're not going to make me pay for it...'

'There goes my part as a wise man in the Christmas pageant.'

Santa-Claus-Trophobia

'I may lose the connection intermittently.'

Hug Robot going silent

'Check out his litterbox. It must be the deluxe model.'

'Babies can't open these safety caps ... But then neither can I!'

'He's doing so much better, lugging that backpack to school, since we started him on steroids.'

'Don't patronize me. We both know I could do better. Why do you always have to be so hypocritical?'