School Juggernaut Gifts

'I'm more unpopular now than I was at school.'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"This is gibberish, Nigel, but most persuasive gibberish."

The Working Mum

Medieval headlines.

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

Communication Breakdowns

I called you to this synergistic ideation to strategize methods of creating new annoying words.

"I tell you, it's a dog-eat-dog world out there!"

'You reckon we should mosey this guy?'

'Harley manages our most aggressive growth fund.'

Sports Lawyers

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Who's gonna stay here and do my homework?'

'I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home.'

'Finally some good news on the economy: four out of five economists agree that 80% if economists agree.'

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

"I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot."

"In a nutshell, my career goal is to nurture my unique personhood in a culturally diverse, progressive business environment, while also honoring the traditional values of back-stabbing, greed and global plundering!"

Heyyy, don't worry about a thing. One more energy drink and I'll have you sliced and sutured in no time!

"Great work, Smith. I must say, it's heartening to read a press release that both honors and builds upon the time-honored tradition of artisanal, hand-crafted gobbledygook!"

"Impressive resume. But can you make coffee?"

IN OVER MY HEAD

"In my downtime I'm using this app to learn Corporate speak, Legalese, and French."

"See this thingamabob attached to your whatchamacallit? That’s the doohickey I was afraid of."

Things will turn around eventually... Meanwhile....

"Wow, Leonardo! Science, art, inventions. . . Can't you focus?!?"

"If you need something stronger we can bring out the defibrillator."

"God, if you can help me find a seat by my friends, I'll listen to my teachers, do my homework and clean my room..."