School Goer Gifts

Broken ankle.

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

"Have a good day at school. Here - don't forget your lunch."

A Boy Getting Ready For School.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'Son, I've arranged for you to go to a private school where you'll have a wonderful time!'

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

"In economics, I got an IOU."

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"Right...you're all in detention until we find out who put the chameleon on the tartan rug!"

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

Caution May Contain Nuts.

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."