School Child Gifts

"Today in school we studied the great works of antiquity - the pyramids, the coliseum, the abandoned shopping mall on Route 6."

Computer Room.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

I will study my speling words...

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

Boy and girl at thier studies

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Three more years of high school."

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"Could I ask just one question?"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

Likes: $2.

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'I really crammed last night.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

'Court's in recess!'

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'