Children's Schooling Gifts

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

Today we learned to count to one.

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

Children's education

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

Super Student

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

Early Learning Today

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."