Parent Of School-aged Child Gifts

"The bully at school keeps calling me a snowflake."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

Early Night Club

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'It wasn't my fault. They asked me about things that happened before I was born.'

'I can't decide if I want to play the Toblerone or the Jello.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

Mom and child visit principal who has a sign on the door - Nap Time.

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

"Today in school we studied the great works of antiquity - the pyramids, the coliseum, the abandoned shopping mall on Route 6."

No caption. (Adult and male child are standing side by side. The adult has an angel and devil on each shoulder, and the child has a devil and a Santa.)

'I went to school with Mary today: Boy that was fun!!' (colour)

'I need a helping hand.'

'The dog kinda ate my homework. He deleted it off my hard drive.'

'I ate some modeling clay in school today. It's okay, they're not going to make me pay for it...'

'There goes my part as a wise man in the Christmas pageant.'

Santa-Claus-Trophobia

'I may lose the connection intermittently.'

'When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...'

Hug Robot going silent

'Check out his litterbox. It must be the deluxe model.'

'Babies can't open these safety caps ... But then neither can I!'

'He's doing so much better, lugging that backpack to school, since we started him on steroids.'