School Gate Socialite Gifts

I told the school I definitely didn't want my son to be labelled - but if he had to be labelled, 'gifted and talented' would be nice!

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

A day at the races

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Dog Teenagers

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

'I like the way you don't say I've had enough.'