School District Living Gifts

'It's close to all the main schools, but try not to let that put you off.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

Wifi in Hell

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

$1: Family Secrets

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

No Immediate Danger

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"In economics, I got an IOU."

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Hoodie Hang-out

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.