School Life Gifts

"Once again, we're boarding only our Elite Premium passengers at this time. Thank you."

Kid on the way to pricipal's office see a girl in the hall with a stand setup to give legal advice.

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Ethics exam cheater.

'Is there a 'back to school' app?'

'I'd do better if she'd ask questions more closely matching my answers.'

'They meet in there. Some kind of support group.'

'I call it 'Research Paper Lite.' It contains a third fewer facts, but you'd never know it.'

'My teacher said I don't pay enough attention in class. At least, that's what I think she said.'

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

'I saw the school nurse put that sign up.'

'ok, who threw that?'

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

"To be environmentally responsible I'm recycling my sister's old book reports."

'My dad wants a word with you!'

My Son was a Lice-Free student of the week at Public School 819.

'How can I possibly be a discipline problem? I'm usually asleep.'

"My mom wants you to dispense my happy pill just before I get on the bus for home."

'Do you ever feel we're having too many inoculations forced on us?'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

'Who was this bully who poured Superglue on your report card and then folded it?'

'They say that breaking up is hard to do, so I brought along a grief counselor.'

Teenage Vegetables

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

'I thanked my teacher for teaching me so well, and she fainted.'

'If the school can send in substitute teachers, how come we can't send in substitute students?'

'Ms. McWit, I'm not writing about 'What I did this summer' until the school gets a good libel lawyer.'

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'

"All my lunch money's in real estate."

"That's excellent, Caroline!"

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."