School Life Gifts

"Once again, we're boarding only our Elite Premium passengers at this time. Thank you."

Kid on the way to pricipal's office see a girl in the hall with a stand setup to give legal advice.

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Ethics exam cheater.

'Is there a 'back to school' app?'

'I'd do better if she'd ask questions more closely matching my answers.'

'They meet in there. Some kind of support group.'

'I call it 'Research Paper Lite.' It contains a third fewer facts, but you'd never know it.'

'My teacher said I don't pay enough attention in class. At least, that's what I think she said.'

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

'I saw the school nurse put that sign up.'

'No, no, you're looking for the school counselor. This is Guy Dance.'

'ok, who threw that?'

"To be environmentally responsible I'm recycling my sister's old book reports."

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

'My dad wants a word with you!'

My Son was a Lice-Free student of the week at Public School 819.

'How can I possibly be a discipline problem? I'm usually asleep.'

"My mom wants you to dispense my happy pill just before I get on the bus for home."

Freshman Ronnie Klumpf wisely outfitted himself with a wedgie deterrent system.

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

'Do you ever feel we're having too many inoculations forced on us?'

Teenage Vegetables

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

'Who was this bully who poured Superglue on your report card and then folded it?'

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

'Sorry Mrs. Tassone, I ran out of apples, but my puppy's even better. he's got tons of worms.'

'I thanked my teacher for teaching me so well, and she fainted.'

'They say that breaking up is hard to do, so I brought along a grief counselor.'

'If the school can send in substitute teachers, how come we can't send in substitute students?'

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'

'Ms. McWit, I'm not writing about 'What I did this summer' until the school gets a good libel lawyer.'

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."